NOOO! My Precious
by AchievingKitKat
Summary: Kakashi never thought that this could happen. When Tsunade and Jiraiya, his Mother and Father...changed his day with six words. 'Son. We found your porn stash.' What will he do?  One-shot, but may change depending on the reviews to my note on the end.


_**New story, but time to laugh.**_

_**Hopefully.**_

_**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO.**_

_**I just own his porn. ;D LOL JOKES. ^_^ (I do loans on weekends ;D )**_

_**ON MIT THE STOREHHH!**_

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><p><strong>Chapter 1.<strong>

**PORN.**

Kakashi smiled as he laughed and joked with Iruka at Ichiraku Ramen, taking their time as they finished thier Ramen. Four more people ducked in and came and sat down beside them, all of them wearing Chuunin jackets.

"Hey old man! Can I have the usual please?"

"I-I-I-I'll have what h-h-he has."

"Hn. Same."

"Tsk, cheer up for once. It's just a celebratory meal. Oh, I'll go with the same please!"

Kakashi and Iruka looked at the four newcomers with a smile.

"Hey Naruto, Hinata, Sasuke, Sakura." Iruka hailed them with a chuckle.

"IRUKA SENSEI!" Naruto yelled running up to him and hugging him."

"Ah Naruto, don't call me Sensei! Makes me feel old."

"You are." Came Naruto's response, accompanied with his usual grin.

"Tsk, young people." Iruka muttered as the other three Chuunins grinned.

"That's not entirely true Iruka." Kakashi chuckled.

"KAKASHI SENSEI!" Naruto and Sakura screamed, enveloping him in a hug.

"GROUP HUG!" Naruto yelled.

"Yeah, just you guys." Sasuke murmured as Iruka and Hinata looked on with amusement.

Suddenly Kakashi's, Sakura's and Naruto's hands shot forward and grabbed him, and with a look of horror, he was dragged into the hug.

"Ahh!" He yelped as he was squished between the three of them.

"Ramen's ready! Enjoy!" Ayume said with a smile as she set four bowls of ramen down over the counter in front of four seats. Naruto immediately pulled away and seated himself.

"Alright!" He yelled with a grin. Iruka face palmed as Sakura, Kakashi and Hinata laughed, leaving Sasuke to brush himself down in annoyance. The other three seated themselves, and they all together they broke their chopsticks apart.

"CHOW DOWN!" Naruto yelled.

And they did.

With a will.

"So how come you guys are here?" Iruka asked Sakura as she ate her ramen at a steady pace.

"Hmm? Ahem, excuse me. Sorry. We came back from a high ranked A-Mission." She explained.

"Was it successful?" Kakashi enquired curiously.

"Yes! It went without a hitch. Well, we were ambushed at one point, but-"

"But Hinata was brilliant!" Naruto interrupted with a beam.

"Really?" Iruka said in surprise.

"Aa, we were going to get ambushed, and her Byakuugan told her that we were being followed. She didn't tell us at all, instead, when they approached us for a full on attack, she let loose an incredible Rotation and followed it up with a round of Gentle Fist. Before we could blink they were dead on the ground in front of us." Sasuke put in with a hint of a smile as he retold the event.

"Wow Hinata! That's amazing! Well done!" Iruka praised her, making her blush slightly as Naruto put an arm around her shoulders. Sakura grinned knowingly.

Naruto kissed Hinata quickly. Kakashi's and Iruka's mouths fell open and looked to Sakura for an explanation.

"Since when?" Iruka whispered.

"During the mission. Hinata accidentally let slip that she liked him, almost died of embarrassment, and without processing the thought he kissed her right where she stood before she could run." Sakura said mischievously. Kakashi smiled.

"As much as I enjoy seeing you young people-"

"That's ok Oh Old and Wise One." Naruto grinned.

"Tsk."

"See what I mean?" Iruka muttered.

"Anyway, I need to go. It's quarter to ten and I have papers to read."

"A certain kind of papers I'll bet." Sasuke sniggered quietly.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Kakashi said dangerously as he stood up.

"N-N-Nope. Nothing at all Sensei." He stuttered, his eyes white and round.

"Oh good." Kakashi eye-smiled. Iruka shook his head.

"See you tomorrow Kakashi." He smirked.

"Will do. Bye!" Kakashi replied, Shunshin'ing away.

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><p>He arrived outside his parents house (AN: YES HE STILL LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS. MWA HAHAHA.) and took out his key which had the key-ring of a small dog on it, which looked suspiciously like his nin-dog Pakkun.

"I'm home!" Kakashi called as he went in and shut the door behind him.

"KAKASHI!" Came a furious cry, which echoed throughout the house. His mother. _Uh oh…_ He thought worriedly, cautiously making his way into the living room.

His mother and father were sitting on the couch, and on the coffee table was something he had never, EVER, wanted his parents to see.

"Do you know what those are?" His mum asked him.

"…"

"KAKASHI. ANSWER ME."

"Y-Y-Y-Yes…" He answered carefully.

"Basically, we found your porn stash under your bed." His dad said with a smile that his wife couldn't see.

_Oh fuck._ Kakashi thought, his eyes going wide in disbelief, blushing furiously.

"Well?" His mum asked angrily.

He couldn't speak. He tried, but nothing would come out. He felt himself go weak at the knees. His mum had found out that he was a porno freak.

_It can't be this bad. Please, it can't get any worse._

Oh but it could.

"Since you cannot give me a decent answer. I'm confiscating them. It's for your own good young man." She said firmly, picking them up gingerly, as if they were going to burn her fingers.

"WHAT! MOTHER! I'M TWENTY NINE!" Kakashi protested in vain.

"YES. AND YOU STILL LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS. OUR HOUSE. OUR RULES. C.O.N.F.I.S.C.A.T.E.D." She yelled back, brushing past him as she stalked past him.

Kakashi fumed to himself, working himself into a tizz.

"Son, just go to bed. It'll be fine." Jiraiya said comfortingly, taking a sip of Sake.

"NO IT WON'T. YOU DON'T KNOW. YOU HAVE NO IDEA!" Kakashi cried, running as fast as he could to his room, slamming the door and collapsing in his bed in tears.

Jiraiya sighed.

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><p>Later in the evening, when Tsunade and Kakashi had gone to sleep, Jiraiya got up and quietly stole into Kakashi's room. Only to find that Kakashi was actually still awake.<p>

"What do YOU want?" Kakashi muttered before he could say anything. Jiraiya raised an eyebrow as Kakashi glared at him.

"Follow me." Was all he said, tip-toeing out of his room and down the stairs.

Intrigued, Kakashi followed him, making sure he was extra quiet so that he didn't wake up his mum.

"Where are we going?" Kakashi asked, suddenly feeling slightly wary. His dad didn't always play fair…

"Shh." Jiraiya answered mysteriously as he opened a small hatch in the floor in the cupboard beneath the stairs. He went down the steps and blackness swallowed him. Hesitantly, Kakashi stood there and in the end he forced himself to follow his dad down.

"Close the lid on the way down." Came his dad's voice from somewhere below him. Kakashi frowned but did as he was asked and made his way down the ladder in complete darkness. He reached the bottom…

And the light was switched on.

"YOU FOUND THEM!" Kakashi hissed in disbelief. Jiraiya just looked at him and winked, trying to conceal his laughter as he went back up the ladder and went back into the main part of the house. Kakashi heard him make his way upstairs to bed.

Kakashi took a few of his books in delight and raced upstairs with them, slipping back into bed he opened one of the books and started reading in happiness.

A sudden thought occurred to him.

"Oh sweet Jesus. Thank god she didn't find the video tape in my VCR."

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><p><em><strong>HAHA! ;D<strong>_

_**What would Kakashi do without his porn? He'd be…normal…O.o **_

_**This was a one-shot only. So yeah. ^_^**_

_**Well, I **__**might **__**make it into something precious is taken away from Naruto, Hinata, Sakura, Sasuke and Iruka to see how THEY would fare… But review if you like that idea or not…xD**_

_**REVIEWS PLEASE! =D =P XP XD**_

_**Kaitaru Seras Viktoria Hatake.**_

_**XxxXxxX**_


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